4/2/09

An Abortion Satire

Writer's Note: I do not actually believe the following positions below; they are merely an attempt to show the absurdity of many pro-choice slogans, which aren't in fact real arguments. One can substitute any number of human rights offenses that restrain personal liberty in for "abortion" and "unborn people," but I have chosen "slavery" and "slaves," respectively.

1) Don't like a slave, don't have one.

2) Slavery is wrong, but the government shouldn't restrict it (an argument actually made by Stephen Douglas in the Lincoln-Douglas debates).

3) Slavery is a family decision, and the government shouldn't intrude on a private decision (a similar argument made by Obama).

4) Making slavery illegal would create an unsafe black market for slaves.

5) Don't impose your religious views about slavery on the rest of us.

6) Slaves aren't real people, so it doesn't matter what we do with them (see the 3/5 clause of the original Constitution).

7) If Christians want to free slaves, then they should be the ones caring for them (not an ill-founded argument, but it confuses terms-- slavery is still wrong regardless of the potential outcomes).

8) Making slavery illegal would bankrupt the healthcare system. Keeping it legal reduces cost (Nancy Pelosi).



Absurd, absurd, absurd.

2 comments:

Changed and Changing said...

Genius good sir, genius. I especially enjoyed number 1 because I seem to come across that bumper sticker all the time.

David Strunk said...

#1 confuses morality with taste. These are two different categories. I like ice cream. Killing someone is wrong. Two completely different things, but you hear this lunacy and confusion in categories all the time.